Music for 3/16/18!!! Brett Young, Jason Derulo, The Chainsmokers

@@@ Brett Young: Mercy (Big Machine, 2017)  Some new country from the label that brought you Queen Tay Tay Swift.  How can you go wrong?  The cover of the record shows Mr. Young to be quite a panty quaker and the single they picked is sure to melt the ladies’ hearts.  ‘If you’re going to break my heart, just break it.’  That’s what I’m talking about girl, don’t string him along — let Mr. Young get along with his life and getting out on the road and being a big country star.  He’s a nice guy, he deserves a future — don’t steal that from him, you bastard!  I can’t type much longer because this song is getting to me, I’m choking up a bit cuz he seems like such a nice guy.  I’m kinda glad it’s over that was a difficult listen.  I wish you well, Mr. Brett Young.  That was on the hot tracks section at Apple Music and it’s not so much as hot as heart.  Heart people, that’s what I’m in this for!

@@@  Jason Derulo: Colors (Warner, 2018)  Here we have another Apple Music hot track which is the Coca Cola anthem for the upcoming FIFA World Cup.  It’s got a world music vibe to it because the whole world plays in the World Cup but I must say I don’t understand why Mr. Derulo pants so much at certain points in the song.  He makes this breathy exhalation that sounds shall we say intimate.  It seems out of place.  There is a soda reference here, let me see if I can catch it for you.  Can’t you taste the feeling?? That’s it right there.  Go buy a coke, Coca Cola needs help selling their sugar water.  The tune is an ugly mash of weak Drake dancehall and Justin Bieber, well whatever the Beebs represents.  A tatted white boy trying to overcome a unfortunately small penis?  I shouldn’t attack the Beebs, he’s awesome and quite inspirational.  I don’t like Derulo’s singing, it’s cheesy and he doesn’t do a good job of evoking Katy Perry’s Roar.  If he can’t beat Katy Perry and her woke rack, well he’s in trouble.

@@@ The Chainsmokers: Everybody Hates Me (Columbia, 2018)  I’ve listened to this track four times as I’m trying to learn some routing features on my new to me half digital mixer, and I can tell you this song does not hold up to repeated listening.  The problem here are the lyrics, the lyrics are half sense/half nonsense.  The part that makes sense is that Chainsmoker dude wrote a tired of fame song.  That part is clear.  The part that makes fuck all for sense is how he gets to the everybody hates me hook.  He says he been on the interwebz and he reads what people say about him now that he’s famous and it gets in his head, I’m not really sure.  That part is unclear but what is clear is how many times he sings ‘everybody hates me’.  And I’m nothing if not honest I start to hate the dude after hearing beat the fuck out of this vocal hook for 3+ minutes.  Don’t go on the internet and read shit about yourself, read a book, I been telling folks to stay off the Zuckybook for years.  That shit will kill you.  I’m having trouble sympathizing and the arrangement doesn’t do a lot to make me feel good.  If I were a thinking man, and I’m not, listeners are supposed to somewhat live vicariously through the dude or live what he’s living.  Also, dude, if everybody at the club hates you, don’t go to the club!  Problem solved.

YTD recordings listened to: 147
Good music, not recommended for purchase: 77
Not good music: 67

Best: 2
Honorable Mentions: 3

Possibles: Retox, Defeater, Jonwayne, Okkyung Lee, The Ballantynes, Slidhr, The Chewers, Toxic Holocaust, Susie Iberra/Roberto Rodriguez, Lenguas Largas, The Coral, T.O.M.B., Lozen, Erase Errata, Mastery, Leviathan, Hartley C. White, Weed, Cold Water, Janelle Monae, Luther Dickinson, Graeme Barrett, Fast Asleep, Goldlink, Cavanaugh, Gentleman Surfer, Satoko Fuji, Moken, Juan Atkins, Lantern, Twin Peaks, Djelimady Tounkara, The Oh Sees, Denny Zeitlin, MILF, Unfun, De La Soul, Carl Sagan’s Skate Shoes, Magrudergrind, A Tribe Called Quest, Noname, Gouge Away, Klara Lewis, Krullur, The Lowest Form, Hard Proof, Yotoco, Jungle Fire, Sandoz, Oddisee, Forro in the Dark, RAM, Fiver, Dona Onete, Succumb Succumb, Gloom, Priests, Propaganda, This is the Kit, Roberto Gonzalez, Integrity, Tuba Skinny, The Expanders, Irreversible Entanglements, Converge, Open Mike Eagle, Criolo, Billy Strings, Flowers of Sulphur, Melissa Laveaux

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